Welcome to my blog. I write erotica and host a podcast where we talk about sex, relationships, dating and everything in between.  So strap up, listen closely and get ready, because you WILL get wet on this ride!

Mirror, Mirror….

Happy New Year Y'all! I know I'm hella late with it but you know how the holidays gets…too many drinks, some parties and all of a sudden you're laid out in your hotel room with panties on the lamp shade and depending on how festive the night has been there could be someone amazing to your right and/or left ;-) But anyway, that's not what this is supposed to be about. Moving right along, I wanted to introduce something to you for the New Year. I've been getting your letters asking me questions and more than a few of you have asked me to answer the questions online and I was trying to figure out just how to get that done. It came to me while I was faking having an orgasm; I should have somewhere that I can answer your questions online. So let me introduce you to: "Mirror Mirror" (Yes, like in Snow White…the mirror was under-utilized because really it could've answered ANY question).

Here's how this will work:

Every Sunday, I'll pick a question or two and post them up along with my response. If you DO NOT want your questions posted up and just want to have a little something special between you and I please let me know and I will answer you privately. Send all of your questions, comments and/or dirty little secrets to vanitystrokes@gmail.com! I love talking to you guys and I can't wait to connect with you weekly and until I do make sure you keep it sexy with every stroke!

Hey Vanity, What's going on? My homegirl put me onto your blog and you have a wicked way with words. Your post about your first time with a woman is definitely up there as one of my favorites. I love that you're so open about sex and just tell it like it is. So many people are afraid of sex these days which is crazy since there's no shortage of people fucking. I wanted to ask you about a problem I've been having and I'm hoping you can help me out. I love to role-play; something about my girl dressed up and pretending to be someone else excites me; but she's not as into it as I'd like her to be. She said it makes her feel weird that she dresses up as someone different and I call her by a name other than her own. I try to explain to her that it's just pretend but she's still a little uptight about it. Anyway, I was wondering if you can suggest something to help me maybe get her a little more into it. How do I get her to initiate it sometimes? Right now, she does it if I ask her enough but she never surprises me with it.

Thanks, Sherelle

P.s. Her and I have been together for 2 years and I've never cheated, I just think once she gets into it she's more relaxed and the sex is better

Dear Sherelle,

Hey Girl Hey!

First of all, thanks for reading the blog and sending me your question. We're all grown folk and so some adult conversation shouldn't hurt anybody…it's just sex!

Anyway, onto your reason for writing…

I talked to another couple who went through pretty much the same thing and while the circumstances were a tiny bit different, I think the same idea applies. Have you considered that for her, doing something that she's not really interested in may be a chore? Or maybe she's not really familiar with it and doesn't see the benefits and needs you to teach her more?

Just imagine her asking you to do something that you'd do just because she asked you to, but that you didn't really WANT to do. If you had some incentive I bet you'd do it without her ever really having to ask.

For example, if every time you did the laundry without her having to ask you to do the laundry she ate your pussy until you started speaking in tongues (all pun intended), my guess is you would do laundry even if there wasn't any. The same thing could probably work for your role playing.  If she felt she was getting a little more out of it other than just getting you off, she would probably want to do it more often. It sounds like she just needs a little more reciprocity when it comes to role playing.

If sex is nothing, it's a do-for-do business; you do for me and I do for you in return. So try things you know she'll like; if she's a romantic, try romancing her a bit without expecting ANYTHING in return. If she tries to initiate sex as a "reward", turn her down. Tell her that it's about her and please her body the way SHE likes to be pleased. I'm willing to bet you'll be pleasantly surprised one day when you walk in the door and you don't recognize the naughty girl waiting for you…

Please please please remember, I am in NO WAY an expert. All I can do is give you my opinion/feelings on the matter. Either way, give it a try and let me know how it turns out …I want ALL the dirty details ;-)

Until Next Time,


P.s. Might I suggest that you try out the "Spread the Love Bar" from Sex & Mischief? It's got four comfy adjustable cuffs that are attached to a spreader bar that's about 15 inches. It's a dope way to explore different positions and you can either bound hands and ankles at the same time or just hands or just ankles…It's one of my personal favorites.

I’ve Been Bussssssss-y!

Happy Fucking New Year…