Welcome to my blog. I write erotica and host a podcast where we talk about sex, relationships, dating and everything in between.  So strap up, listen closely and get ready, because you WILL get wet on this ride!

Mirror Mirror: I Can’t Get Myself Off

Dear Vanity,

I love your blog and your stories. As a matter of fact, your stories kind of made me want to write this letter to you. I'm 24 years old and I have trouble getting myself off. I have tried watching porn online but it doesn't seem to help. I still find myself feeling uncomfortable. I realized that I enjoy watching a lot of threesome videos so I've been doing that but I just can't seem to get off. I rub my clit until I get wet and then I go away from the computer and take out my dildo. It feels good but I never get to the point of orgasm. I've only had sex with a few people and I don't usually cum, but sex has always been enjoyable for me. I started reading your blog and I do feel myself getting aroused when I read your stories but I can never actually cum. Am I doing something wrong? Also, I'm finding my dildo to be boring; do you have a favorite dildo that you enjoy?


Going Nuts Cause I Can't Cum

Dear Going Nuts,

Thanks for reading Boo! I love hearing from all of my readers and you my little sex kitten are no different! Now let's see if we can't get some of this sexual frustration cleared up.

I'm a fan of threesome videos too so I totally get that. Do you have any porn on your phone? It doesn't sound to me like you're watching these videos and playing with yourself while you do it. It sounds like you're watching these videos to get you hot and then going to take care of business in a separate space. My guess is that playing with yourself at your computer isn't comfortable enough for you (which I can believe because you're trying to stuff a dildo down your pants without being buck nekkid in front of your computer. At least if you had porn on your phone (I do) you could start with it in bed and when you get turned on you can put down your phone and continue playing with yourself.

I'm thinking what might be happening is that you're losing a little bit of your arousal going from your computer to the bed and getting prepped for a little self-sex. Try not to think about it so much; try to lie in bed and watch a video (or read my posts!), you only need one hand to start touching yourself. Once you start getting into it put the phone down and start using your other hand. Massage your breasts, explore your body. Touch yourself until you find what gives you goosebumps. Make sure your dildo is already out and near you. You make plans and set up to fuck a man/your man, why not do the same for yourself? Also, don't stop rubbing your clit just because you're wet; girl rub it until your back arches and your body shakes.

Cum for yourself. If you like dirty talk, talk dirty to yourself; I always do. In terms of being bored with your toys…girl, I have a pleasure chest so there's a whole lot of stuff I like. My favorite go-to though is the butterfly kiss. It's a dually; meaning it penetrates and it stimulates the clit at the same time. The original butterfly kiss has 3 speeds and comes in I believe 2 colors. The platinum edition has 9 speeds/pulses but chances are you'll find one speed that you like and so the platinum edition is unnecessary. Check out the picture below and contact me if you want to purchase one. Let me know how it turns out and please remember I'm not an expert, I just fuck like one!

Keep it sexy with every stroke,



Mirror, Mirror: He’s Got A Big Ego

I’ve Been Bussssssss-y!